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In
these issues...
DEC 26, 2008
Letter to Obama
promotes shipbuilding...TWIC info...T-AKEs confirmed...Piracy
protection for M.E.B.A. ship in Gulf of Aden...It's a wonderful
life! In a Bedford Falls, George Bailey edition we make a difference
and bank on a Christmas miracle of an issue that really earns its
wings. Don't lose a fortune to mean and miserly newsletters that
make you wish you'd never been born! We send them to Potter's Field
and give you a second chance with a helping of Zuzu's petals and
maritime news to make you the richest man in town. Attaboy Clarence!
Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets his Telex
Times!
DEC 19, 2008
DOT, DOL picks
announced...REC hours standardized...Further info on Medical NVIC...Who’s
your daddy? It’s all relative in a thicker-than-water, mom-and-pop
edition for everybody and their uncle. Divorce yourself from
illegitimate, black sheep competitors that bear no relation to the
truth. We disown their old wives tales, stomp them like aunts and
kick those once-removed, son-of-a-guns in the family jewels. Oh
brother! A chip off the old block, the next-generation Telex Times
is the mother of all newsletters!
DEC 12, 2008
Aker lays keel of
latest M.E.B.A. ship...New fax numbers for Oakland hall...Delinquent
applicants dropped...Renovation done in Wilmington...In an undead,
Dracula-loving edition, we feed your insatiable bloodlust for "Type
A' maritime news in a humorous vein. Put a stake through the hearts
of batty, pain-in-the-neck newsletters that bleed you dry. We defang
those suckers and take a bite out of them in a vamped-up,
shape-shifting issue that goes for the jugular. You can really sink
your teeth into the Telex Times!
DEC 05, 2008
Next round of T-AKE's
are named...TWIC deadlines approaching... WSF slowly upgrading
fleet...Without stopping for directions, we belch out a macho,
testosterone-driven issue of masculine maritime snips, snails and
puppy dog tails. Don't get all duded up with sissy, mama's boy
newsletters that suffer from male pattern blandness. Leave the
toilet seat up, take control of the clicker and grab the
sports-loving, broad-shouldered newsletter that'll put hair on your
chest. The Telex Times will make a man out of you!
NOV 28, 2008
TWIC, piracy news,
awards for contracted companies...Holiday party schedule...The
bouquet is exquisite! From the M.E.B.A. cantina, we rack up a
vintage, magnum-sized issue of all the intoxicating maritime news
heard through the grapevine. Don't get bottled up with
over-fermented, rot-gut newsletters that leave a bad taste in your
mouth. We make them blush and tell those wining, cellar-dwellers to
put a cork in it! Like a fine Bordeaux, the full-bodied Telex Times
gets better with age!
NOV 21, 2008
Direct observation
rules made "optional"...Good & Welfare fund is tax-deductible...Trio
of maritime labor figures sail into the sunset...Piracy update...Out
of this world! In a cosmic, shooting star edition we heat up as we
enter the atmosphere and shower you with the meteoric maritime news
of the week. Don't fall to pieces over spaced-out, crater-faced
competitors that really burn you up! On a fiery news streak, we
hurtle your way and send shock waves through the industry as our
down-to-earth issue drops right out of the sky. A smashing success,
the high-impact Telex Times makes a huge impression!
NOV 14, 2008
AOTOS awards...MarAd
study on oil prices favors water-based transport...TWIC & piracy
news...Choo-choo! Coming at you like a locomotive, we get you stoked
and keep chugging along in an express, station-to-station issue with
all the maritime bells and whistles. Don't lose steam and blow your
stack over pain-in-the-caboose newsletters that derail your train of
thought. Those hobo-hauling runaways are asleep at the switch! All
Aboard!! Putting you on the right track, the Telex Times is "the
little engine that could!!!"
NOV 07, 2008
Union voice crucial
in Obama victory...MSC takes over latest T-AKE...M.E.B.A. Civmar
honored...In a bigger and boulder issue, we wipe the slate clean,
take nothing for granite and chalk up a chiseled, concrete edition
that'll hit you like a ton of bricks. Don't get in deep schist with
petrified, gravel-faced newsletters. We reduce them to rubble and
send those marble-eyed fossils back to the stone age! A chip off the
old block, the Telex Times is ready to rock!
OCT 31, 2008
Support the U.S.
Merchant Marine on Election Day...P.A.F.reward program
expands...TWIC info...Boo! Back from the dead, we scare up another
haunting manifestation of maritime news in a paranormal,
chain-rattling issue with a sixth sense. We see right through
ghoulish, phantom newsletters that won't let you rest in peace. Give
up the ghost on those soulless spooks and take possession of a
spectral, die-hard edition that'll help raise your spirits. A real
phenomenon, the Telex Times is an out-of-body experience!
OCT 24, 2008
TWIC news...NOAA to
upgrade fleet...AMC trustees meet...You'll be floored as we stay
close to the ground, cut a rug and install a plush new issue padded
with wall-to-wallmaritime coverage. With every fiber, we walk all
over synthetic, fringe newsletters and tell them to 'shag off.'
Laying down an anti-static, loom-woven edition at your feet, the
stain-resistant Telex Times rolls out the red carpet!
OCT 17, 2008
P.A.F. rewards
program...Prop Club Convention...Piracy news...CG advisories...TWIC
fingerprint info...Percolating with a strong roasted maritime
flavor, we give you a jolt as we brew up an addictive, mountain
grown issue to get you through the daily grind. Filter out watery,
decaffeinated newsletters that are on shaky grounds - those drips
don't know beans! We tell their ugly mugs to wake up and smell the
coffee! Perk up and take a sip of the taster's choice of newsletters
in a rich Kona-style edition that's good to the last drop. The
signature-blend Telex Times is a real eye-opener!
OCT 10, 2008
NASSCO starts work on
next T-AKE...Short Sea Shipping moves ahead...Earlier TWIC
compliance for some COTP zones...Obama letter to M.E.B.A...It all
hits the fan as we clear the air, vent the latest news and breeze
through a five-bladed, oscillating issue. Pull the plug on noisy,
poorly circulating newsletters that send you into a spin! We
frustrate those long-winded blowhards at every turn with a steady
flowing, energy-efficient edition that revolves around you. Don't
sweat it! Take a twirl with the Telex Times, it'll help you keep
your cool!
OCT 03, 2008
New Executive
V.P....MERCY returns...Stronger piracy control urged...Aker gets to
work on next ship...AH-CHOO!! Congested with infectious news
articles, we feverishly cough up a contagious new issue that'll give
you the chills. Don't take a turn for the worse with sickening,
red-throated newsletters that leave you in a cold sweat. We sniff at
those stuffed-up, bitter pills and give them a taste of their own
medicine as we inoculate you with a multi-symptom, maritime
cure-all. Just what the doctor ordered, the Telex Times is nothing
to sneeze at!
SEP 26, 2008
CG Medical NVIC
released...Advisory on OCMs...Piracy incidents... TWIC
news...Elementary! In a sleuth-like, Scotland Yard-style edition, we
do a little detective work as we follow the leads for the missing
maritime news you need. Don't let the trail go cold with snooping,
gumshoe newsletters that haven't got a clue. Tell those private
dicks to get off your case! Mystery solved you've discovered the
Telex Times. A good newsletter is hard to find!
SEP 19, 2008
New contract with
Samson...BRASHEAR christened...Houston hall reopens...Renewed push
for Veterans' bill...Absentee ballot info...Easy as pi! In a
perpendicular, geometric issue, we go on a tangent, bisect the
maritime perimeter and put you on a higher plane. We draw the line
on oblique, rhombus-loving competitors that knock you off your axis.
Don't let those obtuse, irrational squares get you bent out of
shape. Problem solved! "Sine" up for a congruent, Euclidian
newsletter with perfect symmetry. According to our calculations, the
Telex Times covers all the angles!
SEP 12, 2008
Houston hall prepares
for Ike...Connaughton headed to FMC...New School travel policy in
effect...CHENEGA crew rescues kayakers...We leave you agape with a
tasteful, tongue-in-cheek edition with an oral-fixation that'll have
you licking your chops. Don't gum up the works with toothless,
hard-to-swallow competitors that stick in your craw. Those
yawn-inducing canker-sores really blow! We shut their cake-holes,
keep a stiff upper lip and feed your face with the latest
jaw-dropping maritime word of mouth. The Telex Times will make you
open up and say, "Ahhhhhhhhh!!"
SEP 05, 2008
Aker
update...M.E.B.A. ship aids nation of Georgia...MSC info
breach...SATURN helps fishing boat crew...PATHFINDER in
Ukraine...From Paganini to Perlman, we rosin up our bow and put our
fingers on a fretless, violin-playing edition that strikes a chord.
Don’t scale down and take it on the chin from wooden, out-of-tune
newsletters that come with strings attached. Hitting all the right
notes, we orchestrate an instrumental maritime recital that’s music
to your ears. The Stradivarius of newsletters, the Telex Times will
have you feeling fit as a fiddle!
AUG 29, 2008
CMES trains CG
Inspectors...DOT delays section of drug testing regs...Aker cleared
in lawsuit...Navy will patrol for pirates...Happy hunting! We go
stag and declare open season on the news as we make a stand and
scope out a white-tailed, venison-fed issue. Don't fawn over
gun-shy, deer-in-the-headlight competitors that belong on the hood
of a car. We tell those dead-meat, Bambi-lovers to get stuffed as we
rifle through a 14-point, big rack edition and take our best shot.
When you have some time to kill, pull the trigger on the
trophy-sized, camo-covered Telex Times. The buck stops here!
AUG 22, 2008
Lawsuit
settlement...New digs for Seattle starting next week...LEWIS & CLARK
award...SSA contract...Ding dong! We serve up a deep-dish,
Chicago-style edition hand-tossed with maritime toppings and brought
right to your doorstep. Don't get sauced over pie-eyed, thin-crusted
weeklies that are like reading cardboard. We pan those cheesy,
half-baked pizza-faces and order up an extra-large issue that
doesn't cost a lot of dough. Here's a tip: Any way you slice it, the
wood-fired Telex Times is the newsletter that delivers!
AUG 15, 2008
Corcoran memorial
fundraiser set...Seattle hall moving... MarAd/TRANSCOM pact on RRF
ships...TWIC news... 10-9-8...Cleared for launch, we shoot for the
moon and deliver a full payload of maritime items in an
astronomical, planet-sized edition. Don't crash back to earth with
'pain in the asteroid' competitors who aren't exactly rocket
scientists! Light years ahead of them, we make those space cadets
see stars as we shuttle you through an intergalactic news trek at
warp speed. We have lift-off! Out-of-this-world, the Telex Times
will send you into orbit!
AUG 08, 2008
NIKISKI keel
laying...Nominations needed for heroism at sea... M.E.B.A. MSC ship
helps out in Guatemala...Surf's up! We find our place in the sun and
'lay out' another issue as we bask in the glow of a tropical,
Maui-style edition. Don't get burned by Speedo-wearing, crabby
competitors that have their brains on vacation - they're 'no day at
the beach!' We tan their hides, kick sand in their faces and turn
the tide as we shore up another issue. The coast is clear! Hang
loose, slip on your shades and catch some maritime rays with the
Telex Times - it's a little slice of paradise!
AUG 01, 2008
Revised
Constitution...Plans changes...ILWU contract...TWIC news... Cool
beans! Come veg-out as we produce a vitamin-packed,
Caesar-salad-sized harvest of news leeks mushrooming with the
maritime cream of the crop. We squash pea-brained, garden-variety
newsletters and drop those corny, 'tomato cans' like a hot potato!
An organic experience, the Telex Times is as cool as a cucumber!
JUL 25, 2008
Corpus Christi Rep.
has died...New contract with Foss...West Coast halls closed on
Monday...ILWU nearing contract...We spring to life and vault head
over heels into an issue of high-flying maritime acrobatics that'll
have you doing cartwheels. Don't take a turn for the worse with
flopping, leotard-wearing competitors who leave you twisting in the
wind! We get on a roll, jump through hoops and bend over backwards
to bring you the news that's leaps and bounds above the rest. Come
for a spin and take a tumble with the Telex Times. It'll make you
flip!
JUL 18, 2008
New M.E.B.A. ships
closer to delivery...Trustees make beneficial changes...West Coast
memorial for M.E.B.A., MFOW ship... M.E.B.A. MSC vessel on outreach
mission...Top of the morning! The toast of the town, we continue our
cereal excellence and juice up another hash-browned, stud-muffin
edition that's hot off the griddle. Bad-egg, waffling weeklies that
scramble the news should wake up and smell the coffee! Dollars to
doughnuts, we rise and shine, knock them flat as a pancake and bring
home the bacon. Kiss my grits! The breakfast of champions, the
over-easy Telex Times is the most important meal of the day!
JUL 11, 2008
HMT bill...HQ
Legislative Dept. wants input...MARPOL (Vessel emissions) bill...STOCKHAM
support in Philippines...Wage increase for M.E.B.A. Civmars...Using
a little English, we get in the fast lane, throw maritime strikes
and bowl you over with a ball busting edition. Don't end up in the
gutter with three-fingered, fouling weeklies that miss the mark and
can't spare the news you need. We set 'em up and knock 'em down as
we talk turkey in an extra frame of industry items that's right up
your alley. The kingpin of newsletters, the Telex Times is ready to
roll!
JUL 04, 2008
Great Lakes TWIC
compliance dates...ILWU, PMA talks continue... Mario White sails
into the sunset...M.E.B.A. reunion is a success... We proudly hail
another banner edition as we hoist up the maritime flag and unfurl
the latest star spangled items of interest. Properly dispose of
tattered, half-staff weeklies that desecrate the news and leave you
flapping in the breeze. Rally round, and pledge allegiance to our
grand old newsletter...the gallantly streaming Telex Times comes
through with flying colors! |
